Desi Daughters: Empowering the Chutney Sandwich Generation
We have a problem.
Early Indian immigrants to the U.S. are aging. But we’re not ready.
The first major wave of Indian immigrants arrived in the 1960s after U.S. immigration laws changed. Now, that generation is in their 80s and 90s, with many more aging parents arriving in subsequent decades.
They need culturally relevant care and communities such as home caregivers who speak their language, senior centers that celebrate Diwali and Holi, retirement communities with familiar meals, and memory care facilities that understand desi families.
But, our aging elders are not familiar with traditional U.S. elder care services, and these traditional services aren’t familiar with the needs of aging Indian seniors.
Caught in the middle are working professionals balancing demanding careers, raising a family, and supporting aging elders and in-laws. They are stretched thin, looking for support but unsure where to turn.
This group – caught between two generations – is often referred to as the “sandwich generation”.
Since we belong to the South Asian community, I like to refer to us as the “chutney sandwich” generation.
The Growing Need
The elder caregiving burden in Asian American communities is significant.
A 2020 AARP report found that over 60% of Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) caregivers provide care for a parent—the highest of any racial group.
Additionally, nearly two-thirds felt they had no choice in becoming caregivers, and 62% expect to take on caregiving responsibilities in the future (PBS NewsHour).
This cultural expectation leads to a stark reality that many in our community, especially women, may be facing or considering: the need to step back from our careers to step up and care for an aging parent.
Paying an Invisible Price
Whether shifting to part-time work, a lower-intensity role, taking a break, or retiring early, the financial consequences are the same:
❌ Less income
❌ Reduced savings
❌ Lower Social Security benefits
❌ Weaker financial position in later years
Family caregivers are not just sacrificing their careers.
They are jeopardizing their long-term financial security and ability to afford care in their later years.
Enter Desi Daughters
A year ago, I launched Desi Daughters with a simple goal.
Finding culturally relevant resources for aging South Asian parents shouldn’t be so hard. Let’s make it easier for busy professionals to support their aging elders.
What started as an idea has now grown into a thriving free online community of over 4,000 members across the U.S., India, Canada, the U.K., and beyond.
The group includes daughters, daughters-in-law, sons, sons-in-law, nephews, nieces, and anyone else who supports aging South Asian parents.
Especially anyone trying to find resources for elders who live in a different city.
How does Desi Daughters help?
1️⃣ You’re not alone – Caregiving can feel isolating, but in Desi Daughters, you’ll find a safe and supportive space to connect with others who truly understand. A place to lean on and learn from each other.
2️⃣ Quick access to the right resources – Whether you need recommendations for an elder care facility, an in-home caregiver who speaks Gujarati, or ideas on how to start care planning conversations, our community and curated resource hub save you time and stress.
The Impact So Far
Over the past year, Desi Daughters has:
✅ Launched a website with dozens of South Asian-specific elder care resources across the U.S. and India
✅ Formed local chapters to provide local knowledge and support, especially when your parents live in a different city
✅ Hosted expert sessions on elder care topics tailored for the desi community
✅ Partnered with elder care service providers to bring culturally relevant elder care solutions to members
✅ Secured exclusive promotions for members seeking elder care solutions
Through Desi Daughters, countless South Asian professionals have found support, connection, and solutions while navigating the unpredictable elder caregiving journey.
This is the power of community. To share knowledge and lift each other up.
None of us have all the answers. But we’re figuring it out, together.
🤝Join us: bit.ly/desidaughters-community
About the Author
Salina Shah is on a mission to empower Desi women navigating midlife and aging elders. A former actuarial executive and Senior Vice President at Aon, she is also a co-inventor of health benefits optimization software and a board member of the Actuaries for Sustainable Health Care nonprofit.
After losing her father and mother-in-law in her 20s, Salina has spent over 25 years juggling career, kids, and caregiving—balancing traditional Desi expectations with modern-day life. Realizing the need for a culturally relevant support system, she founded Desi Daughters, a thriving community dedicated to helping working professionals navigate the challenges of caring for aging South Asian parents in the U.S. and India.
To learn more, please connect via LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/salinashah/, the website at www.desidaughters.com, or the community at bit.ly/desidaughters-community.
