Advice

Dear Asha,
I have been married for 10 years, my husband is Christian (from South India) and I am Hindu (also from South India). We both value our religion very much but we are having a hard time teaching our children both religions. One Sunday we go to temple and then next we go to church. – Confused about Religion,

Dear Confused about Religion,
First, I should congratulate you and your husband for emphasizing the importance of spirituality and good faith in your family. If for nothing else, it provides quality scheduled family time, no matter if you go to a temple or church. I would suggest continue going to both temple and church. However, it shouldn’t stop there. Before and after your visits, you should explain to your children what they just experienced. Emphasize the fact that certain traditions belong to the Hindu faith, and certain traditions belong to the Christian faith. Continue to pound these differences in their heads even while noticing such things in everyday life. This will allow your children to simply become more knowledgeable about each faith. Most importantly, though, help your children realize that there are different ways that people learn. Some people learn better by listening to instructions, whereas others learn better by reading instructions. Such is how it is with different religions. The basic principle of each religion is to teach people how to become better people and how to treat others with compassion. Christianity and Hinduism are just two ways to help people learn that huge life lesson. Later in life you may notice that your children lean more to one religion that the other. Neither you nor your husband should take offense at this. This just means that they can relate better to one faith. Of course, it may turn out that they believe in both religions equally. This is not unheard of, and can be done

– Asha

Dear Asha,
I will be getting married very shortly; do you have any advice for a couple that hasn’t known each other take to ensure that our marriage works? We were introduced by family friends and love each other very much but I am still worried. – Scared

Dear Scared,
First, I would like to congratulate you and your husband on your upcoming wedding. I don’t think there is one piece of advice that I can offer you to ensure your marriage but I feel in order to have a successful marriage you have to make yourself an expert in communication. You have to try to understand what your spouse is saying on a simple level as well as try to analyze the underlying message or desire. We shouldn’t expect our spouse to intuit our needs nor rely on some level of divine inspiration. If there’s a special necklace you want for your birthday, point it out to your husband. It will save him the agony of choosing and spare you both needless pain. It works both ways — maybe he doesn’t want socks this year.

– Asha