Downsizing with Heart: A Sustainable Approach to Letting Go

We often think of sustainability as a modern concept—a movement we’ve created in response to climate change and our fast-paced, disposable lifestyles. But the truth is, our older generation mastered sustainability long before it became a trend. They were experts at maximizing every resource, avoiding waste, and finding new life in old items.

Growing up, many of us watched our parents and grandparents save everything—from empty glass jars to plastic bags. They taught us to use items fully, hand them down, donate them, or creatively repurpose them. This practice is commendable, but it comes with a challenge: What happens when it’s time to downsize?

Our family experienced this dilemma firsthand when we realized it was no longer feasible for my father-in-law to manage his home in Gainesville, FL, by himself. My mother-in-law had passed away 15 years earlier, and my father-in-law was a retired professor. He had continued to stay involved in academics and frequently traveled internationally for work, so upkeep for his large home had fallen behind and became impractical. As a family, we agreed that a smaller home with social activities and freshly prepared meals would be a better fit.

Fortunately, through friends and family, we found a lovely Indian retirement community, ShantiNiketan, about 90 minutes away. He selected a brand-new sun-drenched corner unit that was being constructed and had the opportunity to select some of the finishes and make it his own.

The Move: More Than Just Logistics

The decision to move into a retirement community was made cautiously, as it was an unfamiliar path for our family. We visited the community, spoke with residents, and gradually grew confident that this new environment would offer the safe, social, and supportive setting he needed—and it did!

However, the logistics of the move were daunting. One challenge was that the condo unit was significantly smaller than the space he was used to. The retirement community’s 1,000 sq ft condo units are ground-level condos with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and an attached single-car garage. Perfect for a retiree, but not nearly enough space to hold 30+ years of memories and mementos from his 4,000 sq ft home.

In addition to the space constraints, we had time constraints. We were traveling down from Boston to Florida during summer vacation with our family of five, having just a week to clean out the large home and just under two days to set up the new space—it was overwhelming. Especially since I was determined to approach this task in an eco-friendly and respectful manner, honoring his legacy of resourcefulness.

The Art of Letting Go: Downsizing with Purpose

With a tight schedule, we had limited time to sort through decades of belongings. So, we took a triage approach, ensuring each item found a fitting new home.

Here’s how we did it:

1. First, Set Aside What’s Essential: We identified which items would move with my father-in-law to his new condo. These belongings held immediate personal value or were necessary for his day-to-day life in the new space. We packed these items separately and set them aside for the local movers.
2. Second, Share with Family: Next, we considered which items he would not have space for but would have sentimental value within the family. We carefully boxed these family heirloom pieces and arranged for a national moving company to ship them out to each family member to whom he designated these pieces.
3. Third, Invite the Community: For the remaining items in good condition, we invited local friends, neighbors, contractors, and students to pick out any items they could use. This spontaneous ‘free yard sale’ was a way to give back to the community that had been a part of his life.
4.  Fourth, Donate to Charity: The larger pieces and usable items that remained were donated. We found a local thrift store that worked with a moving company. Not only did they arrange for a truck for our furniture pick-up, they also agreed to come back again to collect the remaining mattresses on our last morning, so we could use them until our last night there. It felt good knowing these items would continue to serve others in need.
5. Finally, the Last Resort – Discard: Only the unusable or broken beyond-repair items were discarded. During this final step, we also tried to recycle as much as possible. For the rest of the items that remained, we rented a U-Haul truck and disposed of the remaining items at the county transfer station.

While a large amount of trash disposal was inevitable, we did our best to use this 5 step process to minimize our footprint and prepare the house for the next owner.

Balancing Sustainability and a New Perspective

Among seniors who are used to maximizing every resource, what may seem to be a positive sustainability practice may morph into hoarding, so it’s important to understand the difference. Hoarding stems from a fear of loss, while sustainability is valuing and using what we have wisely.

This downsizing experience taught us that while it’s okay to cherish memories, it’s also necessary to let go, especially when space, time, and practicality demand it. We must consciously choose what we hold on to and how we release the rest.

If you’re facing a similar journey with a loved one, remember that you can encourage an environmentally mindful approach to navigating and redefining what’s valuable, both in our homes and in our hearts.

About the Author

Salina Shah is on a mission to empower Desi women navigating midlife and aging elders. A former actuarial executive and Senior Vice President at Aon, she is also a co-inventor of health benefits optimization software and a board member of the Actuaries for Sustainable Health Care nonprofit.

After losing her father and mother-in-law in her 20s, Salina has spent over 25 years juggling career, kids, and caregiving—balancing traditional Desi expectations with modern-day life. Realizing the need for a culturally relevant support system, she founded Desi Daughters, a thriving community dedicated to helping working professionals navigate the challenges of caring for aging South Asian parents in the U.S. and India.

To learn more, please connect via LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/salinashah/, the website at www.desidaughters.com, or the community at bit.ly/desidaughters-community.